Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
