u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
