Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
