I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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