I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
