Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize