Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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