Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
