Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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