you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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