And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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