Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We are two peas in an std pod
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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