Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize