there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
