sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
