Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
