dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
