The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
