i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
