So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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