At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
