Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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