I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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