i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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