You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize