The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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