I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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