dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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