Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
