I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
