Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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