Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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