were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
