I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
