you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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