My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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