I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
pray to the hookup gods
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
