I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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