Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
