we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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