We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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