He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
