i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
As shirtless as possible
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
