I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
