fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
