I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
