I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
