I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
