I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
