I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
