My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
