My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm getting married
To pizza
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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