There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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