After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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