i was rollin on her like bob the builder
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
