My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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