is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im part way to drunk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
