I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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