I hate your face
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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