did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
