I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
