I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
