If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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