just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize