C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
